I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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