I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
