About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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