that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
