I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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