I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize