North Korea, Best Korea!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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