Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
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I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
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We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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