dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
