I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
