My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
