Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
