I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
