i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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