16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
