please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
