There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
