If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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