i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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