Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
