if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
