for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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