ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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