Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
