New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
