Fuck appropriateness.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
