If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
