I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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