I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize