Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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