i can't believe i had my finger in that
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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