I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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