i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
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i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
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pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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