Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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