I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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