"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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