SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
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If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
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I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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