Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
