You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize