Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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