I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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