The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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