It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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