Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I think i got beer on your cat.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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