When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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