I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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