I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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