The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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