Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize