but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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