she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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