Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
