if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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