and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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